"You're Going the Wrong Way!" India Contemplation

"You're going the wrong way!" 
 inspired by India,the battle in the Bhagavad Gita, and the battle in my own mind...


I've heard that one before.  Often times from the left half of my cerebrum that knows better than I do. "Hey Daisy!  Don't let those deep brown eyes with a hint of naughty fool you, this is so NOT okay and the words, "honey, no one needs to know," are SO not appropriate or wise," or "eating a raw tomato in India is not the best idea you've had today dear Daisy. With love, your Cerebrum."  I should have listened to that hefty thinking part of my brain on many occasions but really,  where would listening have delivered me?  To this place right here, right now? At this very moment, this looks like a pretty darn good place to be, issues, struggles, clouds, rain and all.  Save Tibet.  How can this happen here and now?  Save Tibet.


"You're going the wrong way!"


So for a week we had been partially "Circumambulating" the Dalai Lama's Temple.  Believe me folks, we knew how to walk clockwise, I swear!  Counterclockwise was just the most efficient way for us to walk to the Men Tsee Khang Medical School for our daily studies, you see.  Less rocks in the Chacos on that shortened route, less tread worn.  One less blistered toe... but I know... I know the journey you have made.  I hear you.  I hear your cries, "Tibet, Tibet, save Tibet."


Circumambulation in the Himalaya nestled McLeod Ganj, the center of Tibetan Buddhists in exile, is a devotional practice performed by folks of all ages and physical ability.  Tibetan Buddhists slowly navigate their way (correctly) clockwise around the temple of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Reflecting, praying, recite mantra, paying homage, meditating, singing songs of compassion and wisdom, or a combination of all of these beautiful acts, with prayer beads in hand.  Women in their colorful chupas, and men with wooden canes, nuns in their flowing robes, and monks with their freshly shorn heads, children, enlightened cows, Americans in orange Nike shoes going the wrong way, all on their journey towards what is meaningful, or necessary. Meaning-full. Om Mani Padme Hum... I hear your sweet verse.


The day we made our first circumambulation, a black cow with pokey little horns came strutting out of one of the smaller golden temples with what looked to be serenity written all over his holy cow face.  That was a sight to see, and it made us giggle.  He looked at peace, and I might say almost even enlightened.  In my dreams, that holy steer lit a butter candle by rubbing his hoofed feet together, and made a wish or two about the contentment of all sentient beings.  I snapped a picture of that dark brown eyed cow exiting the temple (with the look of naughty in those eyes).  I have the proof on film and I know others in my posse do as well.  But, just like everything that else that happened to us in India, you might not ever believe it.  I am not quite sure I do either.  It still seems like a incense clouded dream.  Three weeks vanished in a blink of a hazy third eye.  That cerebrum part of the brain that reasons might never let you, or I fully believe.  India.  Tibet.  World, hold on!  Holy cows.  Naughty eyes.  Past mistakes.  Regrets.  A dream. A nightmare.  A map.  A map leading to here.  Here is a mighty good place.  How I know you wish you were in your rightful place, had that place.  A place that is yours.  All that has been taken from you.  I hear you.  Save Tibet.

"You're going the wrong way!"


So there we were on that trail, going the wrong way, Erin and I.  Our last and final (at least for that trip, I'll be back) hike down the 45 degree ankle-jeopardizing hill of bliss that I dearly miss, the rest of our posse a few hundred thousand small jagged rocks ahead (going the wrong way too, I suspect was noted by that British circumambulator patrol).  I saw it in her eyes before her eyes were near enough for me to see (dark brown with a hint of naughty) and then she spoke in a accent much prettier than my own, "Excuse me girls, but I do have to tell you that YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY,  just as the others before you that I assume are in your group!”  I half (left half brain) expected her to repeat and add, “You’re going the wrong way, you’re going to kill somebody,” and Steve Martin and John Candy pop into my cerebrum... funny.  Watch those rocks! Watch your step. One foot in front of the other.


Tattered prayer flags of red, blue, green, yellow and white surround us.  Some of these prayers are still unanswered, and this I know.  Save Tibet.  Why can't you see how tragic this is?  Save Tibet.  Wind, oh wind!  Please carry these prayers into the ether where they are needed the most. Allow these prayers to be heard and extended into the universe to all willing to hear.  Needing to hear.  Do you hear?  My prayers to erase the past are mere pebbles, please hear their cries.  I have everything.  I am where I need to be. Save Tibet.


"You're going the wrong way!"


Yes, we know dear woman with the British accent much prettier than our own, that we are in fact going the wrong way, but I have a really sick belly and this is the quickest route between point A and B.  When you are in India and are not quite open to "putting it all out there for the cows and everyone to see," you want to get where you "need" to be fast (and hope you have toilet paper in your backpack to wipe away the problem)!


For the past week, the other devoted circumambulators hardly lifted a brow to our reversal of walk. We even received a plethera of tashi deleks, smiles, nods, bows, namastes, grins, and hellos.  We may have sounded just a tad bit snarky with our hefty Minnesota voices when we replied, "Yes, ma'am, we know.  We do this walk daily.  We are just trying to get to our class down at the bottom of the hill. We know how to do it right.  We know where we are going."  We know how to do it right, right?  Follow that cow!  He knows the way to enlightenment.  But, I say it again that I am where I need to be.  What is right?  Who is right?  Save Tibet.


Even the cow knows the right way to go.  Looking back, maybe I should have walked that extra twenty minutes or so, just to get it right.  So often you see, I am going the wrong way.  But, what is the "right" way.  So once again, I look at where I have been, and then I look at where I am. The wrong way has led me to where I am, and that's a pretty good "where" to be.  Even in the rainiest of rains, and the pouriest of pours, I feel that I am where I need to be.  Oh Tibet!  I can hear your prayers.  From this rounded edge of Earth to yours, I hear you.  I hear.  Save Tibet.

"You're going the wrong way!"

But maybe that's okay. Maybe that wrong way is leading you where you need to be.

A well known Tibetan saint and poet Milarepa once stated, "My religion is to live and die without regret."  I cannot know what that means, yet from this day forward.  My regrets are many, and too many and too near between... but where I sit is a pretty good place to be.  I hear you.  I send out a prayer in the wind.  I send out a wish for all sentient beings.  I send out a prayer for Tibet.  I send out a prayer to all those I have hurt from my "going the wrong way," and I can hope that maybe they too sit in a place that is a pretty good place to be, or at least better than most.  I hope for all beings to be in a place they want to be.  I hope for Tibet to be saved, healed, and whole.  I hope for all to be healed and whole.

The wind whispers... Om Mani Padme Hum... save Tibet, save Tibet...



WE THE EXILE GUYS

"We walk alone
except that-

We've our inner souls
the scent of our bodies
the heartbeat that we hear
a faithful shadow
that accompanies us at the worst of times
and the sound of our footsteps.

However, in our hearts are:
a score of unwritten poems
a thousand unsung songs
a million unrealized dreams.

We walk alone,
except that-
we need a nation
that was once ours."


Yadongtsang T. Thinley
A Tibetan Refugee